The Seven Benefits of Travel – Part Two

A different Thing

When I first arrived to the States, I noticed something strange. America was different from what I thought it would be. It was a lot nicer than many other places and countries I have visited, but it wasn’t as interesting. I didn’t feel I was in America, or that I have travelled over 13 hours to get to this very “ordinary” place.

 Most people at the airport spoke Spanish and other languages. I heard people in the street using a variety of languages and even accents. I had to adjust my ears to each individual I met. I couldn’t simply see how that could be English, and I kept waiting for the feeling that I’m in America to come. I communicated this feeling to my American friend who lives in Jordan. She told me that I needed to decide for myself what America is before I can actually see America for what it is! That caught my attention, and it took me a while to understand what she meant by it. However, in the end, I did! And almost suddenly, I noticed something very important; the diversity of the place and its people. Everyone is different, and they are all the same in that. After that, I started to feel the meaning of America. It is truly a different place presenting or “advertising” a different thing.

Travel helps you see and appreciate the diversity of people, cultures, traditions, and attitudes. America is the best place to help you do that. My first lesson was, “ No one is different yet no one is the same”. There is no such thing as the right accent, way to dress, way to think, etc. I am not adopting the American style for there are other considerations for me, but it was interesting for me to observe that and come to this conclusion about the American society.

To travel, not just to America but anywhere, is to literally go to school again. You go to the school of life. You start your first day with what you know and brought with you from home. You may discover that sometimes what you “know” isn’t right or at the least cannot be translated into the new culture you are in. Thus, you are introduced to new things that you never thought of before, and you learn how to use them and live by them. People who travel should check out their own prejudices at the door and open up to a new world and completely new experiences.

I’ve been to other countries without learning that lesson or even noticing the fact. Mostly, it is because the countries I’ve been to were so close to my own in culture and traditions, so the differences were minor and unnoticeable. America can shock you when it comes to that being this unique mixture of all other cultures in one where all are the same in being different. In a sense, in America, even I can be an American.

To be continued …

The Seven Benefits of Travel - Part One

The Power of “Good-Bye”



So, to start with the first benefit for travelling, one must think of what happens before actually travelling. Saying Good-bye! You never really say good-bye to everyone you know. You choose who you say good-bye to; especially when your time before leaving is limited, and you know a lot of people. You also notice who cares enough to put in the time and effort to say good-bye to you. There is absolutely nothing good about good-bye except for the fact that it presents the first benefit for travelling. It allows you to know who you really care about the most, and who really cares about you.

I said my last good-bye the day before I left to The USA. I went out with my best friend for coffee. We sat, talked about the future plans we had, drank coffee, laughed, and then I drove her home. My best friend is an American living in Amman for three years now. I keep teasing her that I’m going to America while she has to stay there. She is the American living in Jordan, and I will be the Jordanian living in America. When we arrived to her house, I didn’t want to say the word. And, I could see in her eyes that she didn’t want to say it either. I think good-bye is only good when you say it to someone you really don’t like or at the least don’t mind seeing walk away.

I couldn’t say good-bye to my family because I would have started crying. My sister held me tight and didn’t let go for a long time, and to tell the truth, I didn’t want to either. my mum had tears in her eyes that would have definitely made us both cry had I said the actual words. Some students of mine took the time to call – up to three times - in the week before I left. They didn’t know when I was leaving for sure and didn’t want to miss the opportunity of saying good-bye to me. On the other hand, some people I’ve known over years settled for a text message. And some I thought were close friends didn’t even bother.

I went through my first homesickness experience immediately the next day I arrived to my host institution in Florida; the second week in the USA. I’m used to travelling all the time but I never stayed away from my family for over a week whenever I travelled. Naturally, the first week I spent in Michigan for the orientation felt more like a vacation to me. We had each minute planned with either classes or a fun activity afterwards. I learned ice-skating. I made new friends. I simply had a good time. All during that first week, I’m ashamed to confess that I didn’t even think about home once, nor did I feel like I miss my family, which was a feeling not so uncommon among the other Fulbrighters I was with at the time. I arrived to Florida on the 11^th of August at 9 pm and was taken by my supervisor directly to a very nice, spacious, beautiful house that would be my residence for the next 9 months! (You can see the pictures on Face book on the following link: http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150341064288824.398965.704688823&l=38ef66799f&type=1 )

I was touring the campus after I had gone shopping earlier. It was Friday afternoon, and my supervisor had just gone home for the weekend. I was all by myself for the very first time since I got to the US. I had taken my laptop and asked my supervisor to drive me to the nearest building with Wi-Fi , since I didn’t have a connection where I’m staying, to try and call my family for the first time since I had left. The building was all empty and literally cold. No one was in sight which wouldn’t normally be a problem to me. I set up for a Skype call with my sister whom I texted to come on line to chat. I was talking to her when mum came along and asked me to turn my webcam on. I did and so did they. And, at that moment, I don’t know what came over me.

 The moment I saw their faces I felt strange. I just wished I was there with them sharing their Sahoor and company. I wanted to squeeze my little nephew so tight and kiss him. I wanted to put my arms around my dad and mum and tell them how much I love them. I wanted to be in that room with my sister chatting late at night in the dark while trying to sleep. The last thing I wanted at that moment was to be in the US. And I couldn’t help but cry.

 I never cried when saying good-bye before – regardless of circumstance! Now, I was crying a week after. I made sure they didn’t know anything was going on for I didn’t want them to worry. But for the rest of that day, I couldn’t stop crying. I was so depressed. I was thinking, without much logic, what a big mistake I’ve made coming here and what I was missing out on. A very good friend of mine was on chat at the same time while I was talking to my family, and he knew what was going on. He was so supportive, comforting and helpful. He talked some sense in me – which is really a challenging task if you knew me at all. And, because of him, I didn’t feel lonely by the end of the night, and I went back to being my cheerful, optimistic self. I owe him a lot, and I don’t feel I thanked him enough. My best friend in Amman was also cheering me up her own way. She was telling me how normal that was and sending me links and articles on homesickness and how to deal with it. Because of good-bye, I now know truly who cares for me. I also know for whom I care the most. I believe that’s the greatest benefit of travel – you discover things, and people, you would never have discovered any other way.

To be continued…

The Seven Benefits of Travel

I keep hearing this from different people. There are supposedly seven benefits for travelling. Yet, whenever I ask about what they might be, it is always the same reply. People would hesitate and think a while before either admitting that they don’t know, they are unsure, or simply give me between 3-5 different ones. They never give me the same ones, though. And, they never give me all seven. So, since I’m travelling myself, and for the first time, on my own, I’ve decided to write about the seven benefits for travelling; one for each post. I’m not going to write about the “real” seven benefits, if such a thing even exists. Rather, I’m going to write about what I believe are the benefits in travel from my own experience. I want to talk about my experiences, my discoveries, and how they changed and affected me. They might not be what you have expected to be the benefits for travel, but they are definitely mine. And, I’m going to share that with you as they happen and as soon as the lesson is learned.

A Country Called Turkey

Turkey is the most amazing country I’ve ever been to. In the past three years, I’ve visited different countries for the first time, but Turkey is the one that stands out from the crowd. Simply, it is different from all the other places. I went to Lebanon for a visit with my family, travelled to Syria twice for work, and attended a conference in Egypt once. Except for the visit to Lebanon, I went to all the other places for work. Turkey was not different in that sense. I went to Turkey on July the 10^th to attend an orientation for the Fulbright program I’m part of. A sort of a pre-departure orientation for all the FLTAs - English teachers who were chosen for the program because they are distinguished in many different ways - fortunately, I was one of them!

What distinguishes Turkey from all the other places I’ve visited is something far beyond its beautiful nature, amazing scenery, delicious food, and good people. That existed in romantic Alexandria in Egypt, sophisticated Beirut in Lebanon, and the amazingly good-natured Damascus in Syria. What made Turkey different is that for the first time in my life I was completely and totally on my own. I didn’t have the comfort of having my family with me nor the security of travelling with a group of peers and friends and doing everything together. I remember in my past travels I never once needed to check anything. Everything was set and planned for by others. I didn’t need to know where we are having dinner because I was going there anyways. I never just wandered in the streets without knowing where I am exactly. It was safe and nice. But Turkey was fun! I had to plan for my day and had to figure out for myself how to make it happen. I never stuck to the plan, though. I got lost every single day of the four days I spent there; yet always managed to find my way back. I tried new kinds of food of which my favorite was rice stuffed oysters sold right on the street near the metro station- a thing I would have never tried anywhere else. That was my dinner for the remaining two days after I had discovered what those little, ugly, black shells really were.

Another thing that makes Turkey so special to me is the group of distinguished people I ever had the pleasure to meet and work with. FLTAs were chosen from around the world as representatives of their cultures, countries, and languages. The Arab FLTAs all met in Istanbul, Turkey for their orientation. I was blessed to meet the people I met, and for that I will always be grateful. I met, laughed, worked, talked, exchanged experiences, and created wonderful memories with many amazing people that I have the honor now to call my friends. They came from Egypt, Syria, Tunisia, Morocco, Yemen, KSA, Oman, Lebanon, Algeria, Mauritania, Bahrain, and, of course, Jordan. The first day I was there, I met a very nice, very helpful, and extremely active young man, and we became friends immediately. Mutaz, from Egypt, was in Turkey before on a similar event. He knew where to go and how to get there, and he took us on a tour to Taksim Square. That was my first adventure. We started as a big group of twenty people, and I ended going back to the hotel on my own. You get lost very easily in Turkey. But you find your way just as easily. No one speaks English or Arabic there, yet you can have wonderful conversations with the people in the street.

The second day, Mutaz took us some place new. We were going to visit a group of islands by sea. Our group consisted of almost 35 people from different Arabic nationalities. We took the boat, and there was lots of singing and laughing. There was a lot of picture taking as well. During that, the boat stopped on what we learned later was the first of many short stops on the way to the intended island called “The Princesses Island”- where Princesses used to live. “We” didn’t know any of that, however. “We” thought we reached our destination and so got off the boat only to discover that “we” were stranded on a different island where no one spoke our language while the rest of the group remained on board. We refers here to myself and 7 other people. We were lost together and none of us had been to Turkey before. There was no Mutaz anymore. Nonetheless, we managed to take the next boat to the island, and we had the greatest day ever. We went back to the hotel at around 2 in the morning tired but laughing. Taoufik, Mohammed, Zahir, Sami, Heba, Nadia, and I became very close friends from that day.

In Turkey, there were so many classes and workshops that we had to attend for the orientation. I learned a great deal. But the most useful and interesting thing I learned was not related to those classes. And the thing I treasure the most from this trip is actually all the friendships I’ve formed and all the good memories. I did learn a lot on my trip to Turkey. I learned things I could never have learned any other place. And I’ve gained things I could have never found anywhere else. But I’ve also lost things there. I lost my sense of fear and dependence. I lost my need to sit back and just wait for things to be arranged for me. I lost my fear of being lost and now I welcome it. For all these reasons and more, Turkey is, and will always be, the most amazing country I’ve ever been to, and there will always be a special place in my heart reserved for that great country.

"Shhh" For Shopping!!

I hate shopping. And for a self-proclaimed shopping hater, I spend more time doing that than anything else! Every summer, my sister comes to visit. My sister LOVES shopping, and she believes it is the best hang-out pastime there is. She would probably have been right if it were with someone else! My summer vacations - on the rare occasions that I had that, or at least had it at the same time as my sister’s – were always spent going from shop to shop and from mall to mall. I would spend hours shopping and usually go home with nothing. I do love getting new things and new clothes, though, but it is the process of getting them that I hate.

I hate haggling the salespeople to reduce the price especially that I’m really bad at it. I don’t like trying on 10 different things, and find only one that fits and looks nice at the same time- which seems to be mutually exclusive nowadays- and sometimes find neither. I don’t like feeling I’m old-fashioned when I ask about a specific style I like and the teenage assistant there looks at me like I’m a hundred years old. And, I don’t like going back home with tired feet, a sore back, and a stomachache from changing many times under the conditioner (which is for no obvious reason always directed exactly on the changing rooms I happen to use!). On top of all, I hate how smaller sizes get each freaking season. I know I didn’t gain weight - I keep track of that, and it wouldn’t bother me much if it was true. But I hate the pseudo feeling of gaining weight only because someone decided to shrink sizes. Small is medium, medium is large, and large is XL! And that’s the new trend.

But every year, I look forward to that I hate doing – that useful waste of time called shopping. I spend a lot of time with my sister, and we always go to have a drink or something to eat afterwards. That is the part I look forward to the most when I go shopping. I always tell her that I refrain from buying anything during the year just to have the chance to go buy it with her, but I don’t think she actually believes me. I do though. And I do it for a good reason. I like shopping with her despite the fact that I dislike shopping. Thus, in my mind, it makes sense when I say that I hate shopping, but I think it is a great thing to do.

Before I Go, You Should Know

I’ve always liked to travel. I’ve never had much chance to do so, however. There was always one reason or another to stop me from visiting Greece, Italy, Indonesia, India, etc. My plans were never accomplished and never saw the light. I would start planning enthusiastically to go someplace, and then get stopped by either lack of money, lack of time, or family or work obligations! You name it, it was a reason at one point or the other. My enthusiasm was lessened with time, and I lost motivation. I started planning to travel knowing that it most likely won’t happen. That was the only consistent, reliable thing about my travelling plans. I have visited, however, several countries. Probably more than anyone reading the previous lines would expect. But these places were never part of the plans I’ve made. I’ve been to Syria, Egypt, Lebanon, Saudi Arabia, and recently Turkey for many different reasons. However, none of these places was an intended destination of mine before I was actually there. With time, I’ve come to believe that the best plans are the ones you don’t make at all – this was further established in my mind with the course of events that lead to this moment.

I was going through some bad time in my life when I’ve come across a Fulbright Fellowship that entailed travelling and living in The States for a year. It wasn’t something I have planned to do for years and years and finally got the chance to do it, like it is the case for all the other applicants I met on the program. Although, I’ve always wanted to apply to something similar, I’ve never mustered the time or dedication to take actual steps towards it. It all happened by chance. A friend of mine told me she was going on an exchange program during one of the conferences at work. I was interested, and I said I would apply - since, after all, it is a dream of mine to do such a thing. But, as usual, it was put aside for later knowing that my travelling plans never actualize anyways. It was forgotten until I was forced to remember it while going through some bad time. I was demoralized and depressed and I needed a life changing event. What could be more life changing than a year abroad doing something new with people who know nothing about you? It was a fresh start to a new life desperately needed at that time, and I took it. When I started applying, it seemed like all odds were against me getting that fellowship. I was desperate enough not to care about the outcome. The mere act of applying helped me feel better, so I did it regardless of that little voice in the back of my head telling me it won’t happen. The process took a year. It was a whole year of writing papers, filling application forms, taking tests, and going to personal interviews. It was whole year of keeping busy and not thinking of anything else. Over time, I started doing things with less and less enthusiasm and drive. I never thought I would get it, but the only thing that kept me trying is the faith some of my friends at work had in my ability to get it. They had the certainty that I didn’t have, and that assured me a bit. No expectations, no disappointments – a good rule to follow when a lot of your expectations didn’t meet the hoped for end.

And somehow I got it. I did not think the personal statement I submitted for the program was all that good, yet it was the best my interviewing committee had read in a long time- according to the American gentleman who interviewed me, and unfortunately, I forgot his name. I ranked first of twelve other applicants in the interview. And on top of all, I had fun during all that. My enthusiasm was restored. I was looking forward to the next step where I actually get to travel. My friends were more than supportive; my family wasn’t. They hated to see me leave or even think of it, and I hated to leave them and my comfort zone. The reason I applied for the fellowship in the first place was no longer there, but the excitement I felt when I was chosen exceeded all my expectations. It was out of the question to back down now, even though I had felt like it sometimes. If it wasn’t for my faithful friends encouraging me to stay the course, I wouldn’t have been getting ready to leave within a week now. Although my excitement is matched by my fear and anxiety, I know it is the right thing for me to do. I know it is an experience that I cannot afford to miss out on. My family has come to terms with me leaving and is supportive of me now. Although I can feel they are still reluctant of letting go, they understand it is something I need to do. My friends, especially my best friend, are taking my departure very hard now that it is drawing near, and I do understand for I will miss them so much. It is really hard for me to say good-bye to my friends and family and everything familiar to me here and to everyone I love, even if it is only for a year. But this time I AM going. There is absolutely nothing, but the will of God, that can stop me. It is a plan I’m going to keep no matter what the circumstance is and no matter how afraid I am. All I need is to “act, act in the living present, heart within and God overhead”, in the words of Wordsworth Longfellow. That is all I have to do to get what I really want and need; a new experience and a fresh start.